Nearly everything is totally indifferent to me. Time is passing, boredom is everlasting.
You know, I find myself in this town by pure chance, it has never meant anything to me. It's also by pure chance that I'm the treasurer here. But if I hadn't been here, I would've been somewhere else and have led the same kind of life. However, I cannot reconcile myself to that. I get really upset when I think about it.
Existence has never answered my questions. Just imagine, to live an entire life, my own life at that, without having found the path to where my deepest needs can be seen and heard! I'll die in silence, which frightens me, without a word on my lips, because there's nothing to say.
Bjoern Hansen, in Dag Solstad's Novel 11, Book 18